This post may contain affiliate links, which means I may receive compensation if you make a purchase using one of these links.
When my daughter was born, everything changed. It sounds cliche, but the reality was actually quite harsh. I sat there holding this tiny screaming bundle and thought, what have I gotten myself into. In mere minutes I began to question everything about myself and my purpose in life. What was my mission now? What was my job? What was my future?
Motherhood changed my DNA. Maybe it was hormones or isolation or just extreme lack of sleep, but my brain shifted the day she was born and it’s taken almost three years to get perspective on how the subtle and monumental shifts guide my life.
I didn’t expect my capacity to change or to feel like I simply might just not be enough.
Motherhood is an intense season where we come face to face with our limitations, boundaries, true capacity and potential, and I wonder if that’s how God created it to be. The dichotomy of expanded capacity and compressed vision makes for interesting days of joy, tears, frustration and dreams.
Not surprisingly, it’s difficult to have long-term vision when you have a newborn. But as the days and years passed, I was finding I still didn’t have any energy or vision to look beyond our little family. I thought something must be wrong with me because I somehow couldn’t do ALL the things.
It was so incredibly hard to truly dream and pursue my passions during this time of intense mothering. My extremely active daughter needed me 24/7 and the fog just wouldn’t clear.
If you find yourself in a similar place, take heart—this is a season, it will not last forever!
Only recently, as we quickly approach her 3rd birthday, has my creative spirit been re-kindled and my soul passions and dreams have been re-awakened.
Create Some Goals
At the end of 2017 I found an incredible tool called the Living Well Planner, designed by mom and entrepreneur Ruth Soukup. Unlike the (many many) other planners I have tried over the years, the Living Well Planner has worksheet pages for yearly, quarterly, monthly and weekly goals that allow you to break down your life goals into manageable chunks.
For two weeks I stared at those sheets and slowly began writing in the lines. It was a bit gut-wrenching to sit there and think about my big dreams for my life aside from being a mom. It felt selfish. It felt out of reach.
And yet, I still wrote them down. Not knowing how I’d accomplish these goals, but still establishing their validity in my life.
I may have forgotten my potential, but God hadn’t.
And HE knew what I could handle when, even if I didn’t.
Establish ME Time
Every mom has to find HER time. It might be before the kids wake, while they nap, or after they go to bed. For me, it’s 5:00am. When the world is dark, silent and still–that’s when my soul is at peace.
The highlight of my day is my early morning hours under my loft office skylight, watching the sun rise through the trees while I write. It’s when my soul recharges. And if I just slept in, I’d miss it all.
So find your time. The alone moments just for you and your goals!
One of my deepest challenges since becoming a mom has been re-evaluating my mission. I always knew I wanted to change the world, but it’s difficult to do that with a screaming toddler in tow. Pre-kids I had a plan.
My education, business, and certifications were all mapped out. Then I got married, and things shifted a little. But by the time motherhood came around, most of those old dreams were squashed.
My vision of what my mission is has changed. And that’s okay. It will change again, and yours probably will too. All those priorities–they have to stay somewhat in balance or someone suffers.
I was devastated at first, but my perspective has changed. Those dreams haven’t died, but they have evolved. They changed in ways I didn’t expect and they don’t look anything like the adolescent dreams I once had, but they are more mature and finessed.
My mission as a mother is to change the world by raising a world changer. By walking alongside other women experiencing similar struggles. My story can reach people all over the world. My ministry can be essentially limitless. And those seasons of life–they’re fluid. They ebb and flow.
And so do we.
Motherhood is a journey full of surprise, joy, trust, doubt, fear, anticipation, sacrifice, laughter, tears, and every possible emotion. It has brought me to incredible highs and formidable lows. It has changed, shaped, broken and healed me. I’m convinced that’s how God designed it to be.
How has motherhood been different than you expected? I’d love to hear in the comments below!
WANT TO SAVE MOTHERHOOD ON MISSION FOR LATER? PIN TO YOUR FAVORITE PINTEREST BOARD HERE: